he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
