I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I just want nice things and good sex
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
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