it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
He? As in you personified your dick?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
