I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
