what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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