Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
