I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I don't deserve a penis
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
