I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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