The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Randomize
