I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
