I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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