btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
What a dumb baby whore.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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