thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
