So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
