God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
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