you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
