yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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