she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
our cab driver is having phone sex.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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