I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
i came on her dog
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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