you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Couch. On fire.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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