She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
