The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
