I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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