A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
