Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
