So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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