I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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