i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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