well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
