your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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