the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
