a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
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