oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
