ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Randomize
