Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
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it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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