Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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