woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
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