If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
