I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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