You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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