I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
