it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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