And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
