dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
