im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
