My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
