This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Randomize
