I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize