He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
