pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
