Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
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just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
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Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
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