the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Randomize
