Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
