He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
