the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
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