Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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