taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
