i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
