He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
