Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
