she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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