I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
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