I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
they're like a gay fantastic four
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
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