Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Randomize
