I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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