Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize