He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
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