I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
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