i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
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